Gazzy is Depressed
by The Winged Pyro That Drowned
Summary: Gazzy is depressed, Max tries to help out... and learns new things about the Flock. New things that may be decent excuses should Max want to remind them who's in charge...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, to start off, I am extremely sorry to all of you who have been waiting so long for me to update the damn fic. I told myself that I didn't want to post any more fics until I'd finished them. If I could kindly direct you away from my failure of a fic (hey, I was out of practice and... ok, I'd never been in practice when I posted it), The Ride Legacy, you may see why I decided not to update.  
But, back on topic, I thank all those who have been waiting for not giving up on me. (You didn't give up, right?) And here's SIX WHOLE CHAPTERS! (Even if they do all seem to be tiny with cliffies XD)**

**Warnings: OOC, and possibly contains a few pairings in ways you have never seen before...**

**Disclaimer: if JP wrote this crap, I would be calling fanfiction cannon. Suffice to say, this ISNT real MR.  
I hope. If it was we'd all be in trouble.**

Max P.O.V. (always is, always will be)

I noticed that Gazzy was looking a little down today. He seemed depressed.

'Hey, Gazzy, what's got you down?' I sat on the couch next to him.

He mumbled something in response.

'What?' I asked and gave him a hug. He flinched away. 'Urgh, look, Gazzy, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong!'

He looked up at me accusingly.

'Remember that dream you had last night?' he asked. I blushed before I realized that I hadn't said anything about _that _dream to anyone…

'Yea…'

'The extremely graphic dream involving you and Fang in bed together?'

Well, we had been sharing a bed at that time but I was only dreaming.

'Yea…'

'The one where he starts-'

'OK, that's enough!' I said loudly. 'How the hell do you know about that dream? Even Fang doesn't know!'

He pointed at Angel. She was talking with the rest of the Flock, who were all highly disgusted yet highly intrigued at the same time. Except for Fang, who was grinning (a real WTF moment for me) and blushing like a tomato. Nudge suddenly stifled a scream.

My eyes narrowed and I got up.

'Mind-video,' Gazzy squeaked.

'ANGEL!'


	2. Chapter 2

Gazzy is depressed ch 2

Revenge is a dish best served with a side of burritos.

After chasing my traitorous flock out of the house and around the yard for a while, I decided I'd get my revenge during the night.

I pretended to calm down, but gave Angel a stern warning. If I found out she'd been in my head again, I'd tie up her wings and drop her off the edge of the Grand Canyon.

The next day, I started preparing my plan.

While the others had dinner, I took Gazzy to town. He needed cheering up, so I was going to give him a treat.

We made it to the All-You-Can-Eat Mexican Buffet. His face lit up.

'Go ahead, Gazzy,' I told him. 'I told them about your eating habits, so they won't kick us out this time. And it's all ours!' I pointed out the lack of people here.

He leapt up and hugged me. 'Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou, I love you so much, Max!'

I laughed and managed to detach him from me. 'Start with the burritos,' I said. 'They are by far the best in the country,'

The Gasman almost exploded in happiness.

_Two hours later_

'I'm stuffed,' Gazzy moaned happily, having eaten _ALL_ the burritos, which I was happy for. My plan was going flawlessly.

'Now Gazzy, just remember not to tell the others, OK?'

'Why not?' he asked.

'Because as long as we can keep this a secret, we can come back every Friday.' I said.

'ZOMG! THIS IS FREAKIN' AWESOME!' he yelled.

I laughed and finished off a taco. 'Ready to go home now?' I asked. Gazzy nodded.

_A little while later_

Gazzy and I snuck in, knowing full well we were supposed to have been home a while ago. I tucked Gazzy into bed and kissed him goodnight.

The next part of my plan required some outside help.

I flew back out to the Mexican Buffet, seeing a white van _still _parked across the road. I landed by it and knocked on the window loudly. The man inside jerked up, hitting his head on the roof before opening the door and growling at me.

'Max,'

'Ari,'


	3. Chapter 3

Gazzy is depressed ch 3

A little outside help

'Well, well, well, what have we got here?' Ari growled at me, obviously trying to make some kind of joke to raise the moral of the other Erasers.

'A van full of sleeping Erasers.' I bluntly shattered his moral.

'Whatever. Any last words before we capture you, take you away, and do unspeakable things?' Ari asked.

'I need help to capture the flock.'

His eyes nearly popped out of his head. 'Max II?' he asked, incredulous.

'Please, call me Maya,' I winked at him. He hopped out of the van and grabbed me, swung me around, and kissed me.

'Oh, Maya, it's so good to have you back,' he said softly. 'I'm sorry I thought you were Max, you've only been gone for ten minutes and I didn't recognize you,' he apologized.

I heard some flapping wings and the light touch of me landing on concrete.

'Oh, _snookums_, I'm back!' I heard my voice say, and someone digging around in their purse.

Ari and I looked towards the voice, with horribly shocked looks on out faces.

Maya looked up from her purse. She looked _amazing._ She must have gone away to put make-up on.

She took one look at us and recoiled. 'Dafuq?' she said.

'Uhh-' Ari gurgled.

'Either I'm having an out of body experience, or _snookums_ is kissing Max-' her eyes widened.

'Max!' she shrieked, rushing forward. She shoved Ari aside and gave me a huge hug. 'How've you been? Is Fang still hot? Is Nudge still chatty? Is Iggy still your dream boy? Why's _snookums_ kissing his half-sister? _Tell. Me. Everything._' She ordered.

OK, so we got together at the coffee shop sometimes, and she was _me _so why can't I share my secrets with myself?

'I'll tell you later, right now I need help to capture the flock.' I said.

'ZOMG awesome! You've finally turned to the dark side!' she said in an excited girly whisper.


	4. Chapter 4

Gazzy is depressed ch 4

The flock visits NASA

I tossed a duct-taped Total into the back of the van. He landed on Nudge. Ari, Maya and I had left the Erasers at the local bowling lanes while we snuck in the house, captured the flock, and stuck them in the van.

I smiled evilly. The flock just glared daggers at Angel, who was crying her devious little heart out. She must have read my mind, because she suddenly started trying to scream.

Maya just duct-taped her mouth some more, and poked a little hole for air, but leaving the pin in so that Angel didn't try to talk. Angel looked up at Maya with pleading eyes.

Maya put some sunglasses on her.

'C'mon, Ari, we need to get to here,' I said, pointing at the map.

'Really? NASA?' he asked.

'Oohh, oohh, I've always wanted to find out what NASA stands for!' Maya said, raising her hand, which hit the roof. 'Ow,' she swore a little. 'Poop, that hurt!' (why the hell does Word want it to say "Poop, which hurt!"?)

Yeah, Maya's a bit of a blond…

'MHMHMHMHMHMMHMH!' Angel was mumbling. I sighed and slid off the bonnet. Walking around to the back, I opened the doors and un-duct-taped Angels mouth.

'What,' I said coldly.

Angel cringed and tried to shrink away from me. 'You can't do _that,_' she said, horrified.

'And you can't share my private dreams- of course I can do this!' I yelled at her. I re-duct-taped her mouth and slid the blindfold back on. Maya taped a tinfoil hat on Angels head too.

'Uhh, what's the tinfoil hat for?' I asked the blond.

'It's so the rest of them don't hear her thoughts.' Maya smiled. I thought it was just another one of her blond moments, but for some reason, my mind felt quieter, like Angel wasn't going through my head.

Angel was scream-mumbling again.

_A while later_

We got to the NASA facility just fine. To add to the flocks, or maybe just Fangs torture, I stopped the van in front of a park bench. I opened up the double doors and strapped them onto the walls, all facing the bench. I took off Angels blindfold, but left her with the hat on.

She looked exceedingly cute in it for some reason.

Anyway, to add to the revenge, I taped their eyes open, and told Maya and her _snookums _that they had time to make out on the bench while I sorted some stuff out inside.

When I came back, they were down to their underwear.

'GUYS!' I screamed at them, and they both broke apart. 'YOU HAVE THE FLOCK WATCHING YOU!'

'So?' Maya asked.

'PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!' I shrieked.

'Whatever. Come on _snookums, _we can start again later,' she gave the crying morphed Eraser a hug while I check the van.

What I saw shocked me.


	5. Chapter 5

Gazzy is depressed ch 5

Revenge is a dish best served in the middle of the night at a NASA facility with a blond clone making out with a hairy Eraser with a side of burritos in a vacuum chamber.

Fang was crying. I guess he was emo after all. I'd taped Gazzy's eyes shut, and faced him away from the action, because I didn't want him dropping his guts too soon.

Iggy was the one who was the most traumatized by the experience. He'd heard _everything _they'd done with shocking clarity. And Nudge was staring at Ari's hairy abs.

Anyways, I told Ari and Maya to get in the van with the kids while I drove through the building. I may have run over a scientist or two, but what did that matter?

I could hear sirens in the distance. One of those scientist bastards had called the cops!

We made it to the vacuum chamber. Ari and Maya helped me to load the kids into the room.

'Are we gonna un-tape them now?' Maya asked.

'No, we want to force them to use their noses,' I replied. I crouched down and hugged Gazzy. 'Sorry, Gazzy, but the burritos were a one time fling,' I apologized. His eyes exploded in their sockets and he started struggling to get away. I let him go.

'Max fed you _**BURRITOS**_?!' Maya shrieked, pulling at her hair. At the mention of burritos, everyone finally understood my plan.

I was going to suck most of the air out, and leave a burrito'd Gazzy to repopulate the atmosphere while the rest of the flock could only breathe through their noses.

**Revenge is a dish best served Maximum Style.**

Maya and _Snookums the Eraser_ quickly ran out of the room. I checked the control panel as I heard a dude yelling something over a megaphone.

'Please leave the building with your hands up!' he yelled.

I turned to Ari and Maya, who were making out again. 'Could you guys either go do that in front of the cops or keep them occupied?'

Ari stopped snogging and thought for a moment. 'Lets go do it in front of the cops!'


	6. Chapter 6

Gazzy is depressed ch 6

Revenge is a dish best served without the TV showing a blond clone and a were-wolf making out in front of the cops.

I could hear shrieks from the lobby. I prepared one last ingredient in my super-duper-sandwich-of-doom before having a look at the security screens.

What I saw changed my life forever.

I can't tell you what I saw. You'd need a brain-scrub too.

What I can tell you is that it was gory, explicit, and involved more swears of "Poop!" being heard.

I opened up the vacuum chamber. Gazzy was trying to hold in his gas in one corner while the flock were scrabbling at the walls on the other side. I'm glad I duct-taped their hands to their sides.

'Oh, Gazzy!' I called. He succeeded in holding off the ghastly green menace long enough to stare hungrily at the salami sandwich I was holding. I'd ground a light laxative into it so he'd fart more.

He rushed over and I held out the sandwich. 'Just for you,' I nodded, and took off the duct-tape that was covering his mouth. He took in a big breath and I fed him sandwich.

'Thanks, Max, I was getting kinda hungry,' he said. When he was done, I re-taped his mouth and left as fast as possible.

I heard a small pop as I got out the door. Gazzy was literally going pink from the strain of holding in his inner demons. So I blew the flock a kiss and a wicked grin of evil before shutting the door.

The great thing about this about this place is that once the atmosphere is adjusted, you can seal it off from the outside! Air-tight!

The fresh air started to leave the room. I could tell from seeing the flock swallowing and stuff that they were trying to get their ears to adjust to the pressure.

I also saw Angel staggering about. I laughed at the sight of my little mind-reader looning about like she was drunk. Hmm… would beer have made any difference to his gas?

Probably, but it was too late now.

I made sure it wasn't a complete vacuum, more like flying way too high. I'd tried that with Fang once, just to see how high we could go. I found out it's like a cheap overdose of valium.

In the end, I think that it was us trying to sleep off our silliness that caused my stupid dream that Angel shared that depressed Gazzy that caused me to go and get revenge that caused this stupid adventure in the first place.

I looked back at the security camera. There were Ari and Maya, still making out in the intestines of police, and there was an idiot with a video camera. He asked them if they could stop making out for a moment before talking about something else.

Maya found some cardboard and wrote on it in blood.

(The following message has been decoded from Blond to plain English):

We're gonna be R18 Horror Movie stars!

I facepalmed.

Over the announcement system, I tried to talk some sense into the senseless. 'Maya, try for just M rating please: _because neither of you guys are eighteen yet!_' I screamed at them.


	7. Chapter 7

Gazzy is depressed ch 7

Revenge is a dish best served without movie offers to your blond clone and her genetically modified lover were-wolf. But the popcorn is nice.

(The following message had been decoded from Blond to plain English):

Okay. You wanna be my stunt double for the [incomprehensible splatter that looks a lot like something illegal] scene?

'NO WAY IN HELL!' I shrieked over the announcement system. 'Just get him outside and make sure nobody else comes in,' I said, losing patience. I saw Maya rub out everything but the symbol for OK.

This adventure's gone on for a lot longer than I thought. I mean, who knew this was gonna hit _SEVEN _chapters? I didn't.

Gazzy was still trying to hold in the gas, but in the chamber it was hard. I sighed and looked for something that might help to speed this up. And the problem was that I didn't want Gazzy to suffer.

I spotted something attached to the roof of the vacuum chamber. Flicking through the instruction manual for the station, I found that it was a tranquilizer dart gun.

People don't have a sense of smell when they're asleep.

_Sorry, Gazzy, but you'll be thanking me for this later, _I thought as I aimed it towards his jiggling backside.

Before I pulled the trigger, I thought back to that hour, the one where Angel destroyed my last thread of sanity…

_Gazzy pointed at Angel. She was talking with the rest of the Flock, who were all highly disgusted yet highly intrigued at the same time. Except for Fang, who was grinning and blushing like a tomato. Nudge suddenly stifled a scream, running from the room, her sides shaking in un-unleashed laughter. Total was grumbling about my "lack of finesse" when it came to the matter. Iggy was shrieking in laughter, barely even trying to hold back. _

_And when I screamed Angel's name, she turned to me with the eyes of someone who knows they have murdered, and are happy for their victim to know who it was and how they did it. _

_Then she read my mind and realized just how much trouble she was in._

I pressed the big red shiny button and watched as the little silver dart shot into Gazzy's backside.


End file.
